Curar, Tregrihi, 11th Zendor 999.
Tell me about yourself.
My name is Evelin Lomes, I am 17 years old, I live in a city called Curar.
Describe to me your surroundings.
I am sitting by my window. It’s hard to see through the remnants of the rain. I can see the city below. It looks inviting.
There’s a straggling pedestrian drifting past – drifting, like lost in the sea. They’re looking at a newspaper instead of where they’re going. I hope they don’t get hurt.
Tell me about somebody important to you.
I live with my roommate, Arkie, or I think it’s more like she lives with me. She has long, silver hair. She told me that I should sign up for this.
Describe to me a place that is important to you.
I used to go to an abandoned building and hide from everyone. That was where Arkie found me, and she said that I shouldn’t go in there anymore.
Explain to me why you are interested in this job.
It’s hard to explain. I feel like I want to create something.
These are the right answers, Evelin, but they’re too minimal. You need to expand on them. And you shouldn’t mention me.
Tell me about yourself.
My name is Evelin Lomes. My parents named me after Evelin Suma, the choral singer. They thought that if they gave me the name of a beautiful person, I would grow up to be beautiful. Now I am 17, and I live in Curar, and they will never know if they were right.
Describe to me your surroundings.
It’s hard to see through the window because it’s still covered with the remnants of rain. The city below looks inviting, and a straggling pedestrian drifts through it, reading a newspaper instead of looking where they’re going. I’m worried they’ll get hurt.
I remember they had shoes that were like a patchwork of shining moonlight and dull scuffs. The shoes looked expensive, and it made me wonder what had happened, because they must have been able to afford to buy the shoes at some point, but now they can’t even afford polish.
Tell me about somebody important to you.
Our landlord is a woman named Irsha. She’s important because she’s the one who keeps us here. I speak to her sometimes – I usually see her on the stairs if I go outside. One time she told me that when she’s not looking after the building, she is a dancer. She took a lot of dance lessons when she was younger and she said that getting back into it now has helped her a lot.
Describe to me a place that is important to you.
There was an abandoned building in another part of the city. I used to explore it when I felt like the world was too much. The more I shut myself away, the more I felt free.
It was a dangerous place. If you looked closely, the walls had spikes on them to stop people who wanted to climb them or cover them in paint. I thought that was strange because the whole thing was falling apart. Why was only some of it cared for?
There were plants, too. Always bright green. I couldn’t work out if someone was coming in to water them or if the plants were made of plastic. I thought they were real from the way they looked. I don’t know if they should be.
Explain to me why you are interested in this job.
People often tell me that I have an active imagination and an eye for detail. I want to do something important and I think the skills I have would make me a good fit.
Much better, Evelin. I think you could be telling them even more, though. How do all these experiences make you feel?
Tell me about yourself.
My parents named me Evelin Lomes after Evelin Suma, the singer. They thought if I had the name of a beautiful person, I would grow up to be beautiful.
I was born in a place that I think was like a town on an island, but everyone there said it was like a new country. It was destroyed four years ago. That was when my parents died. I don’t belong here in Tregrihi, but the place I belong in doesn’t exist anymore.
Describe to me your surroundings.
The apartment that I live in is small, and the wrong kind of small. There are too many things in it and not enough space for me. I don’t have many things. Most of it was taken from me, or I had to leave it behind. I don’t mind that anymore. Sometimes I leave things I’ve picked up in places I’ve been. It’s like a part of me will always be there, at least until someone else finds it. Then I’m part of that other person’s life, even if we’ve never ever seen each other. It’s a different way of talking. What I say is never what people hear, but when it’s like this it doesn’t matter. It’s what you understand that’s important.
There is a nice view from the window. That’s where I spend most of my time. Watching what other people are up to. There’s nobody there right now – it’s late. Earlier, I heard someone go past with a horn blasting, and then there was a siren. It’s never normally that loud. Most people don’t hire police here because it’s meant to be a safe neighbourhood.
Tell me about somebody important to you.
One year ago I hid in a room in a strange building. I thought I was alone, but then I heard a voice in there with me. It turned out the room was a place where people had been testing a new kind of game. The voice was talking to me over speakers that were hidden in the room, and Ben was playing the game somewhere else. Ben was the name of the voice. For me it was a dark room, but he told me he could see a forest with beautiful flowers in it. He wanted me to go with him, and I tried even though I couldn’t go anywhere.
I thought I could hear a burning sound and I was scared because I thought the building was burning. I realised that the burning was coming from the speakers, and after a while Ben was quiet and it was only the burning. I felt very safe then. Even though there was a fire, I couldn’t be hurt by it.
Describe to me a place that is important to you.
I know this place where everything is perfect. There are trees that will never fall down and flowers that can’t be trampled. The leaves are always firmly attached to the branches, so they’ll never fall down and get lost in the mud. There’s a path through the trees that hasn’t been set down by anyone – it just exists between the wildlife. I walk along it and I don’t need to breathe at all. At the end of a path is a place to sit and watch everything else, and I can stop there and rest, or keep walking and loop back around to the forest. Except it’s never exactly the same forest – there’s always something new to look at, a new creature fluttering about, a new tree that’s grown up or started budding. The air is warm when you want it and cool when you want it.
It doesn’t exist. I’m imagining it. It doesn’t make any sense so it can never be real.
Explain to me why you are interested in this job.
You said you needed people who have a strong imagination and I say I would be good at that. I need a place where I can put my energy so I can stop tearing paper apart.
It said on your website that I could use my imagination to do something that will make people happy. I only want to help people. It sounds perfect.
Excellent, Evelin. They’ll love this. I hope you get in!
Tell me about yourself.
My name is Evelin Lomes and I need a way out. I’ve been drained of all I was and I can’t tell you about myself because I don’t know what that means anymore. I feel like I’m lying all the time because I have to fit how I feel into these boxes. I wasn’t raised not to be honest.
Describe to me your surroundings.
It’s raining. The water is rolling down my back and I can feel my clothes sticking to my skin. They want to be part of me. I don’t want them to be because I did not choose them.
I couldn’t stay in the apartment any longer. It was too much torment. Out here is so, so scary, but I couldn’t handle being in pain and knowing there was another path, even if I didn’t know where the path would lead me.
I think I picked the worst day for it. The streets look like they’re going to flood. I’ll be washed away like the day turning to night, and everyone will forget I was here. The paper will probably fall to mush, too. I hope it doesn’t, so that something is left of me.
Tell me about somebody important to you.
My mother used to mean something. She taught me everything that was important, and now she’s gone and I can only learn things that help me fix problems for other people.
When I think of her I always think of a place by the lake, where there was only one bench. Not many people came there because of that. Me and my mother used to go there and watch the water where nothing ever changed because that’s how it was set up. I used to think those moments were happy and now they feel sadder than I have ever felt.
Out here, everyone has taught me that I must always be doing things. I’m not worth anything if I’m not making use of my time. I don’t see why I need to be worth anything. I don’t see why I can’t sit by the lake.
Describe to me a place that is important to you.
I don’t remember much of the last day of my home. There was a lot of fire, and it wasn’t fire that gave us warmth, it was fire that took everything away. I keep thinking about why I found the burning sounds in the hidden room comforting. I think it’s that, even though it was like the worst day of our lives, I couldn’t be hurt that time. I couldn’t lose anything.
I need money to go back there, but I don’t have any. It cost me nothing to be taken here, at least in your terms. In my terms it cost all I had. But that doesn’t mean much here.
Explain to me why you are interested in this job.
I don’t know why I’m writing this. I submitted my application a few days ago. After I sent it, I realised I could do it better. I want to try again. But none of what I’ve written would help me because it’s not what you want.
Tell me about yourself.
My name is Evelin Lomes and I have a job now. It takes everything from me and I think I am taking everything from them. I am ready to be done.
Describe to me your surroundings.
This is the only paper I could find. It’s so dark in here. I can hardly see. I don’t like it anymore.
Tell me about somebody important to you.
I need help but it’s okay if you can’t help. You are doing enough.
Describe to me a place that is important to you.
When I was living through it the past felt like the best time in the world. Now it feels like I have never felt good or right. I don’t know what is supposed to be better. I think that’s wrong.
Explain to me why you are interested in this job.
I write it over and over again, trying to make sense, trying to work it out. If you can read me, you might be able to understand. I hope you find this. I hope someone does. I don’t know who you are. Maybe you’re exactly like me. Maybe you could never imagine what my life is like. Maybe you can’t read and I am only ink on a page. I hope you hold me tight, whoever you are. I hope I could mean something, even just to you. If you ever think you aren’t worth anything, remember that you are everything to me. You might be reading all of me that is left. You won’t know all I was, but you are holding all I am now. I hope you keep me with you. That’s all you can do.
Thank you.
Next: “Burning Truth”.
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